Overheard in New York

From the Overheard in New York website:

"Girl: I really enjoy going to movies by myself these days. Most of the guys I date, we don't have the same taste in movies.
Guy: That's a great idea. Plus, you don't get some weirdo trying to
"inadvertantly" place your hand on his cock.

--L train

Guy: You know Spring is here when I shave my balls.

--CUNY Graduate Center, 42nd & 5th

Girl: Do you sell tights with feet?
Store chick: Sorry, we only sell stuff that's trendy.

--Urban Outfitters, 14th & 6th

Teen girl: You know, relationships are a lot like the British government. The queen thinks she's in charge, but the prime minister has all the power.
Teen boy: I wonder if people in the real world are subjected to this kind of conversation.

--Stuyvesant High School, Chambers Street

Guy #1: Oh, that really sucks. So she wouldn't even blow you? After all that?
Guy #2: Nope.
Guy #1: Did she at least finish putting up those shelves in your closet?

--51st & 2nd

Hobo: You have a quarter for a cup of coffee?
Suit: Excuse me, can't you see I'm on the phone?
Hobo: I don't have time for games!

--42nd & 7th

Girl #1: Randy won't stop coming on my face.
Girl #2: ...Are you going to finish your bagel?

--Waverly & University

Man: You could turn people to stone with your eyes.
Girl: Dude, there are lots of other people on this train, go hit on someone else.
Man: I know, but you're the closest and I don't want to move because I have to pee.

--2 train

Conductor: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Would Isaiah Santiago please step off the train? The police are waiting for you.

--1 train

Homey #1: Yo, hold up...Jesus was a virgin?! He went from 12 to 33 with nothing?
Homey #2: Fuck that shit. He definitely got his dick sucked or buttfucked some bitches.

--L Train, 8th Avenue

The subway doors open. A hobo enters, holding a bottle of windex in one hand and a tube of toothpaste in the other. He says: Which is the better time to read Dostyevsky? Winter?

He sprays the windex.

Hobo: Or Spring?

He squeezes toothpaste out of the tube.

Japanese girl: Spring!
Hobo: You are correct.

--F train"

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